HOW ANXIETY HOLDS HUMANS DOWN AS AN EFFECT OF CYCLIC FAILURES

We worry. Everyone worries. It’ll be prejudicial to deny the fact that we worry. We worry about a new job, about a fiancé, about fertility issues, getting admission into tertiary institutions.

We've looked at people in church, in the bank, super-marts and all of a sudden started to feel insecure. Comparison is generally the fast track to unhappiness. It’s a recipe for misery. All it does is keeps you focused what you dislike about yourself and your life.

As a first child, I tend to worry even more because I try hard to set reliable examples for Obi to follow. Most imperatively, I don't want to be a shame and bring ignominy to my parents.

Typical chauvinistic African Society makes us believe that we must “make it” because our friends that “made it” don’t have two heads. At 16, “Rhoda got admission to Study Nursing the US”. At 21, “Oh my God, Chika just got a new job with a huge accounting firm”. At 25, “You remember Kene from high school? Her boyfriend finally proposed, they’re getting married in Dubai”, At 37, “I hope this fertility results come out positive”. As you get older, the more the worry. Its like a hierarchy of worries. Rather than worry why not move forward and stop comparing yourself with other people?

Now here’s the thing, there’s no such thing as “a life that’s better than yours” and just because your folks started a little earlier than you did, doesn’t mean you've failed.

Sometime this year, I was saving up for a new phone. I use a Tecno K7 by the way. I didn’t want to feel left out of my friends in the estate with sophisticated iPhone Xs’s. I at least wanted to get a 7s. Fast-forward sometime in October, I was snapchatting while my friend’s phone went off for the third time. And my friend’s friend goes like “Refurbished phone. Oh, you didn’t know?”. Wait, what? The same phone I always admired from a distance? Fuck me. This was preliminary step to when I started to live within my means and stopped comparing myself to unrealistic standards.

Instead of comparing myself with people, I have come to terms of who I am and where I am. I am focused on making decisions that will move me in the right directions. Investing, creating and appreciating my parents for the sincere efforts they put in to make my brother and I comfortable.

I hope this article helps!